It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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