Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
