We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it's great music for shaving your balls
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
