so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
