respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
