Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
