I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
