Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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