she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
