I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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