Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
