I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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