We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
