I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The best revenge is premature balding
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
