me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
