I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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