i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think my moral compass just broke
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
