Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
