Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
