wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
