my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
