You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
