not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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