soooo we both peed the bed last night...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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