It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
