I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
