K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
