Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
