yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
