OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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