that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
