is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
