I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
