i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
