can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
