I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
