Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I want to walk on stilts...naked
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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