I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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