I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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