Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
