dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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