You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
