the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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