I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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