Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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