Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I want to fling myself into the sun
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
