Apparently you make a good broom.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
