Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
