I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
