im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Randomize
