But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
