I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
