WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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