Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
