Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
